Online Dating: increase your odds, and weed out the duds

Dating Advice from Engage.com's top matchmaker.

Logo20 You’re a cute girl, so you have no problems getting dates, right? But lets face it. How often does the man of your dreams approach you at the grocery store and ask you out? Instead it’s the 40 and never married guy with the comb-over from accounting who won’t take no for an answer, or the lame-o in line at the bank that offers up cheesy lines like, “so you bank here huh?”. In today’s busy world with infinite ways to communicate with each other, why is it so hard to connect?

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Introducing The B List

Before you get the idea that this is a roundup of second-rate items, let me clarify. The “B” List stands for Belisi, so everything that makes the cut is above grade and in some way fabulous. Each week we’ll share some of our new-found (or time-tested) favorite fashion websites, designers, trends, books, blogs, you name it! As long as it’s in the name of fashion.

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Are you ready for Swimsuit Season?

You know you've been thinking about it for the past six months. You knew swimsuit season was right around the corner. So why does it feel like it just crept up and caught you off-guard? It's okay. We're right there with you. Swimsuit styles are varied and flattering this season, with tons of 60s inspired bikinis and one pieces (Yes! One pieces are sexy and cool again!).

Here's a quick-hit list of some of my favorite suits with all the essential beach/pool gear for a red hot summer.

The return of the one-piece swimsuit

Onepiece You can forget that image of the frumpy one-piece suits with the ruffles. Show off more than a little skin but leave some to the imagination in this Yellow Floral One Piece Swimsuit by Alice + Olivia and this adorable cut-out one piece in pink, aqua or black.


The classic yellow  polka dot bikini

Okay you hate the song but don't take it out on this unsuspecting and sexy bikini.


Can't go wrong with black

Slimming, sleek and sexy, this black bikini by Brette Sandler shows just the right amount of skin with a flattering halter top with double straps for extra support no wardrobe malfunctions here.


Throwback to the 70s

Greenbikini You either love the 70s or you hate them. Personally I love the swimsuit styles of the 70s, with the fun greens, yellows and tube top styles. This green number by Shoshanna is inspired by the 70s but not overshadowed by it. Browns was big in the 70s and Ella Moss brings it back with this striped 70s-style bikini.

Looking for a little more coverage but still like the flexibility of a two-piece? The DKNY Bandeau Tankini & tie side bottom combines the sexy hip-hugging style of the 60-70s Dknybikini_2 with a flirty bandeau top for a youthful, yet sophisticated, poolside look.


Set sail for stripes

This summer, it's all about nautical themes. This nautical stripes bikini from Target is spot on for this summer's nautical trend-but with a smaller price tag than designer suits.


Calling all children of the 80s

Whether you were born in the 80s or rocked out to Flock of Seagulls at your senior prom, you'll love this geometric pattern bikini by Trina Turk.


Bohemian RhapsodyMiraclebra

The Bohemian look is still hot, summer after summer. This indie-print bikini from Victoria's Secret pulls double duty with a Miracle BraR wireless push-up top (but it will be your little secret.


Must-have summer accessories

Cover up with these cute Cherryshorts cherry shorts by Juicy Couture or a stylish caftan by Diane von Furstenberg. Target is giving top designers a run for the money with its trendy collection of beachwear, like this Merona Swim Tunic.

Go from beach to street in style with these black canvas espadrilles from Anthropologie.

Where the wild things live

Show your playful side with these animal print flip-flops.


Made in the shade

Protect your eyes from harmful rays (and look good at the same time) with these oversized sunglasses.


Accessorize at the beach? But of course!

So maybe it's a little indulgent. That's okay. As long as you're happy. This Batik painted bangle bracelet looks great with all swimsuits styles.

Juicyhat Just because you want to prevent premature aging doesn't mean you want a ticket from the Fashion Police. This Juicy Couture Malibu Hat will get you a get-out-of-jail free card-from the Fashion Don't monitors and the sun.

If you're a celebrity looking to keep the paparazzi at bay, this Kokin Oversized Metallic Hat will keep your identity under wraps (yet give off enough mysetery to attract the right kind of attention). Keep flyaways in check with a pretty silk scarf like the Hibiscus silk scarf from Belisi.


Throw in the towel

Dfvtowel
You've thought of everything else, you can't forget a luxury beach towel. Our pick is this DVF eyelit lace beach towel.


Hot summer reads


Prodigal Summer by Barbara Kingsolver

The author of the Poisonwood Bible gets in touch with the southern Appalachia landscape in this earthy account.

Confessions of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella

Afraid of the mail? Can't say no to a new credit card offer? Actually believe that buying something you didn't  plan to buy on sale is making you money? Then this book is for you!


A Return to Love:
Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles"

by Marianne Williamson

If you don't have hope what do you have? This Oprah Book Club title explores the not-much-talked about phenomena in life : miracles. Do you believe in miracles? There's nothing like a lazy summer afternoon to get in touch with your spiritual side and to let your mind wander-and wonder.

Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life by Amy Krouse Rosenthal

Don't let the title fool you, this book, and its author, are anything but ordinary.

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer

From the author of Everything Is Illuminated comes the tale of a nine-year-old amateur inventor, jewelry designer, astrophysicist, tambourine player and pacifist. Foer's latest work will make you laugh, revel and question.


Bag it Michaelkorsbeachtote

Carry that juicy romance novel, beach towel, mad money and sunscreen in this cute yellow mesh tote from Target, or if you want to go all out I love this Gingham Marc Atlan Bonjour Tote and the Santorini Beach Tote by Michael Kors.

~A. Covington for Belisi Fashions

Sense & Sensibility--Wine Tasting Tips from the Experts

One of the fastest ways to develop a knowledge base of wines you enjoy is to taste them. This can be a lot of fun. Go to your local wine & spirits store; gather up a bunch of bottles and head home for a night of tasting adventures. You might have more success if you ask the wine clerk for suggestions, or check out the ratings affixed to bins at the store. Check out wine reviews online (Wine Library TV is a good place to start) or check out what the experts say in wine publications like Wine Spectator. Depending on your preferred learning method, you may find it helpful to do a vertical tasting, which means sampling wines of the same variety but with different vintages.

There's no shame is doing a taste test at home alone (just be sure to spit out the wine or you won't be able to remember what you liked and what you didn't!). It is also a great way to spend the evening with a friend or significant other.

Okay, so you've got your bottles of wine. Before you start tasting, take a moment to familiarize yourself with the proper way to taste wine. These techniques actually help you appreciate the wineÑthey are not simply to make you look smart (although they undoubtedly do).

Tasting Basics

"For the home taster, conducting a blind tasting is a great way to focus one's tasting skills, but it's not essential if your objective is simply to learn about the wine," Peter Meltzer, wine critic for Wine Spectator, says in his best-selling book author of Keys to the Cellar. "It's better to first grasp the salient characteristics of different varietals and vintages by sampling a series of related bottles in a pressure-free environment in order to develop personal preferences."

Jim Kennedy, President of BaggedWine.com, argues the merits of doing a blind tasting. He says that blind tastings are the best wine to taste the wine rather than the marketing effort behind the wine. "When tasting blind you should only taste one varietal at a time to ensure that the process is not too complex for those at the tasting," he says. "This is intended to be fun rather than giving the feeling of a sommelier test."

Wine is evaluated by its color, bouquet, palate, and aftertaste. To fully appreciate a wine's characteristics, Meltzer recommends tasting white wines at cellar temperature (about 55 degrees) and reds at about 65-70 degrees to avoid compromising the wine aromas and flavors. And, if you're truly serious, skip the cologne and perfume, as they interfere with the aroma of the wine's bouquet.

Let Your Nose do the Talking

Meltzer says to hold the wine glass by its stem (holding it by the bowl leaves smudges, obscures the color and warms the wine). Hold it against a white backdrop to examine the color. Not sure what you're looking for? Look at its hue. Is it bright or flat? Clear or cloudy? "As red wine ages, it devolves from bright red or purple into brick or mahogany, browning around its edges," says Meltzer. "White wine will turn progressively golden as it matures. Wines that are the product of less than perfect harvest will be less intense than those picked under ideal conditions."

Next, rest the glass on the table and swirl it. When the wine settles, you should see a clear film on the side of the glass, called legs. You may have seen a wine snob or too making a big show about a wine's "legs" but in reality it's just a measure of the wine's alcohol contentÑthe more you see, the higher the alcohol content.

"Swirl the glass vigorously and inhale deeply," Meltzer advises. "Try to detect any 'off' odors." If you smell a heavy cork smell, the wine may be bad. Any scents that are moldy or musty are a warning sign. An oxidized wine, which means it has been exposed for too long to the air in the vinification process or because the cork has dried out, will give off a smell resembling Sherry or Madeira. A barnyard like could mean the wine is spoiled by yeast, and a smell like nail polish remover could mean the wine has a volatile acidity.

On the up side, you are most likely to meet with a pleasant smell and there are hundreds of them, including complex fruit smells from blackberries, black currants, and cassis.

"Your nose will actually tell you more about a wine than your mouth, because our sense of taste is actually restricted to four categories: sweet, sour, salty, and bitter," says Meltzer. "To minimize the impact of a wine on your palate, slosh it around in your mouth, aerating it by taking in deep breaths at the same time. Ideally, keep the wine in your mouth for at least 10 second before expelling it into a spittoon or slop bowl."

Young, mature or brand new, choosing a wine that's right for you

Don't worry; we weren't going to leave you to your own devices. If you'd like to try wines from areas other than the most popular regions, here are some tips. David Muse, wine writer and sommelier, likes to try wines from what he calls "exciting regions." "For me right now Austria is producing wines that are of incomparable quality and like nothing youÕve had before," says Muse. "Gruner Veltliner is this luscious white wine that is more ductile than almost anything. It goes with all the typical wine killers: shrimp, artichokes, tomatoes."

Looking to impress your friends? According to Muse some good wines reaching maturity include the famed 1997 California Cabs. "The fruit is tempered and their nuances are coming out.  I recently had a Caymus Special Select that was overwhelmingly good, and I don't normally like domestic wines.  Also, Late 80s Grand Cru Champagne is good. I had a Krug 'Le Mesnil' at lunch from '86 that was lively yet playful."

If you want a wine that's ready to serve young, Muse suggests Beaujolais. "Everyone knows by now that Beaujolais is drinkable," he says. The wine is bottled and consumed within months of the grapes being picked. Also, there is a wine from Austria called Jungfernwein, or Virgin wine.  This is wine produced from first year vines, newly planted.  It lacks complexity, but so do many Sunday afternoons by the pool."

For adventurous types, there are some new varietals coming to market. "Portugal is bottling still, unfortified versions of the grapes traditionally used to make Port," Muse says. "They are wonderful, but often high priced.  A single varietal to be on the lookout for from Portugal is Periquita. Also, get your hands on Blaufrankisch, made from an Austrian red grape that produces wines similar to Cabernet though not quite as punchy as the US versions."

Developing a true appreciation for the flavors, vinification process and complexities of wine takes time. Developing a list of wines you like may take even longer. Building a respectable home collection could take years. Purchasing wine is not like buying clothes--what you see is not necessarily what you get.

Wine Tasting Essentials

Having a tasting? Here is a quick list of supplies:

  • Wine glasses (make sure you have plenty! Wine charms are a good idea if you are having several guests, so no one confuses his or her glass with someone else's).
  • White table cloth (so guests can examine the wine's color, density, legs)
  • Spittoons (for spitting out the wine).
  • Bowls with unsalted crackers or baguette to cleanse the palate.
  • Tasting sheet for notes.

And of course, don't forget the wine!

~A. Covington for Belisi Fashions